"F.R.O.G. = Fully Relying On God"

As many of you know, or don't know, last November I had a mass in my right breast removed. Prior to this surgery, I was seen by my doctor and sent to do an ultrasound of the mass. During the ultrasound, the radiologist recommended that I have a mammogram done as well. This scared me to death! I thought to myself and then replied to him, "I'm 23 years old, I'm too young for breast cancer." He proceeded to tell me, "Ma'am, don't worry, it's just to get a better, more detailed view of the mass." My heart began to race, my hands began to sweat, and my eyes filled with tears. All I could think about was my husband, my child, and my family. My life. How would Tyler be without me? How could Grant grow up without a mother? Why is this happening to me? Why is God allowing this to happen to me? SO many questions, that nobody could answer. Except the Lord.
As I waited for the nurse to come into the room to do my mammogram, I heard the Lord call out to me and say, "Amber, just breathe. You're going to be okay, I am here with you." I began to cry and thank the Lord for never leaving my side and reminding me that He is always there. I did the test, as uncomfortable as it was (fair warning to those women who have never had one) and it was over in a matter of minutes. The nurse told me, the doctor would call me the next day and tell me my results.
I went home that night and opened up the Bible and read. I felt like I still needed an answer to why this was happening, when the Lord gave me this word: Luke 8:23-25 "But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger. They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?" WOW! That was the answer I needed. I don't have to have an answer to what is going on, I just need to trust in Him and know that He has everything under control.
The next day, the doctor called me and said that the tests both came back abnormal and that the mass needed to be biopsied, but she would rather take it out completely. I was fine with that! It scared me, the thought of surgery, but hey, I wasn't about to say no to getting rid of it by any means! So we scheduled my surgery for the following week and long story short, the mass ended up being a benign fibroid tumor. Therefore, diagnosing me with Fibrocystic Breast Disease. A condition that causes fibroid tumors to grow in the breast(s), due to the dramatic change in hormones. I would need to be checked every 6 months and have a mammogram once a year for the rest of my life. Fun, huh?
Not only did the surgery take place in November, but we have also been trying to have another baby since November. As said before in previous blogs, I've had a tough time in this area as well. I have been on an estrogen hormone and fertility medicine as well. Both of these being hormones. Last week (Tuesday night), I found another lump in my breast. This time it's in my left. Immediately, I felt the emotions of 6 months ago come over me again. Why, why, why? Didn't I JUST go thru this? As soon as I thought these thoughts, my mind went to the Lord and the word He had given me the night of my tests. I called my doctor the next morning and went in for an exam. He said it could be a cyst but given my history and condition, I needed to do an ultrasound. So I have one scheduled for tomorrow, May 17 and this time, I'm walking in with no fear. I know the Lord is right here beside me and whatever the outcome, I know He has it all under control.
I'm asking all of you to please pray for me as I do these test and find out the results and go from there. I pray that if any of you are facing uncertainties in your life, that you would seek the Lord and give it all to Him. It's easier said than done, that's for sure, but it's all worth it in the end. Just let go, and let God! Praying for each one of you who read this. Blessings! :)